Today's Wish = Patience

When I’m impatient I have an agenda—I’m results oriented and
pushy. I’m in ‘Git ‘r Dun’ mode! I was aware today of each time I was
impatient: it takes mom a long time
to get dressed; the computer dragged; traffic was bogged down. I get
frustrated—I want to jump in and make it happen—no matter what.

Awareness is the key for me. With this awareness I was able
to see that I wasn’t present. Clock Impatience is future oriented and not about the
now. I wanted her ready so we could go; I wanted the computer running at top
speed and not wasting my time; I wanted to get there not dawdle. I felt there wasn't enough time, but when I dug
deeper I got to: I’m not enough. 

Being impatient means
justifying being right over being loving. What’s the impact of that? Hurrying
mom along and making her wrong for being slower and not being empathetic or
helpful. I’ve succeeded in making her feel as I do: not enough.

I have to physically stop. Focus on my breath, center myself,
and love myself as I am in all my humanness and know that I am perfect, whole,
and complete. All I have is time. When I do this I discover I stop living in
my head and return to my body in the present.

Creating the possibility of being patient frees me: to offer
her help or cheer her on in her accomplishments; if the computer actually takes five
minutes to boot I can sit and meditate and breathe; and traffic being slow
gives me and mom a few extra minutes to have a conversation, share a favorite
memory, or listen to her tell a childhood story. These delays are blessings in
disguise and every moment we have is a precious gift.

I choose to give the gift of patience to others and
especially to myself.